The New Year is a customary time when many people set New Year’s resolutions and get into creating new goals through goal setting.

The traditional goal setting framework used for many years now is the SMART model. SMART stands for specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time frame. Some have used variations of those terms.

This framework has been the de facto standard for so called proper structuring of a goal, but is it? What does proper structuring mean in this context.

Not all goals lend themselves to being that specific. A person may know specifically what they want when they state for example that they wish to become a professional footballer. However what if you do not know what you want?

I often hear coaches tell their clients to say what they do want instead of what they do not want. However if you are unclear about what you want to experience differently, starting with what you don’t want can be a great place from which to explore and gain clarity towards what you do want for your life

Moving on, how do you measure happiness or increasing happiness? Not all goals can be measured in tangible or material terms, yet we live in a society that tends to validate tangible measurements only.

For many happiness is more than the acquisition of a more secure or luxurious lifestyle. It’s a state and constancy of feeling of fulfilment.

What is interesting about most goals set is that the ultimate destination is one or more of, more time freedom, money freedom, feeling valued, recognition, more fulfilment and happiness, and more security to name but a few.

The above are arguably the real goals, and the goals commonly set are in fact vehicles to achieving those deeper states.

When looking at the next rung of the SMART model, achievable, it’s worth considering the difference between a goal and a dream. At best a goal is the small rungs of the ladder towards a dream – the landmarks we reach out for that cause us to stretch beyond where we are, yet are not out of reach.

A dream by definition is something that may be specific and measurable, yet does not fit within the realistic spoke of the SMART model. The stretch is so big and it may defy anything that appears realistic simply because of the bigness of the dream.

The time frame spoke on the SMART model can be somewhat of a double- edge sword, in that some get so attached to the time frame of their goal, that if they do not reach their goal by then, they consider themselves to have failed.

So whilst it is good to have an aim by way of time frame, success or failure should not hinge on this alone.

So is the SMART model somewhat out of date, encouraging a tick box mentality. The five elements of the SMART model are important, yet on their own are a bit uni-dimensional.

You have to remember that the motivational theory of pain and pleasure are important concepts within goal setting.

At My Personal Best Coaching we pay attention to the human being aspects of goal setting and not just the doing aspects.

Desire, belief and self-esteem and personal growth should all be part of that framework if we are ultimately to help people achieve their goals and not just set them, especially since too many people fail to achieve the goals they set.

For example if you set a goal to lose weight based on other peoples’ expectations and because you think you ought to rather than having real desire to do so for you, the chances are you will not succeed. If you lack the desire and belief, the knowledge alone will not get you there.

The SMART framework does not really cater for this dimension, yet it is important to build these aspects into goal setting, so that goal setting is more than just about proper structuring, but structuring based on the fundamental ingredients that turn goal setting into successful outcomes.

Conflict can occur on many levels and different dimensions, and when left unchecked it can cause self-sabotage where dreams and goal achievement are concerned, or at least cause people to feel stuck and unable to progress beyond that point.

A conflict can occur within a person. It can also be specific to a situation or another person. Here are some examples of conflicts playing out in life.

If you have ever found yourself in ‘two minds’ about something you are experiencing conflict. If your head says one thing and your heart another, you are experiencing conflict.

The most common conflict I come across in my coaching practice with individuals is the scenario where they hate their job, and want a different lifestyle that being an entrepreneur brings, yet are afraid of leaving the security of a paycheck that a job brings.

Many stay stuck in a job for this reason and the longer they remain stuck the harder it is to break through due to the conditioning effect of things we become familiar with.

In the film the Shawshank Redemption Morgan Freeman captures this quite graphically and poignantly in the scene and speech on institutionlisation. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TsiFanovOSI]

The character of Brookes in the above film ended up resenting and not able to cope with the very thing he originally wanted – his freedom. There are many prisoners in real life who end up self- sabotaging and reoffending to restore the feeling of security that the prison walls gave them.

There are many who are imprisoned within their own inner walls of security, whilst desiring a different life.

So what are some of the key tools and processes needed to resolve conflicts? Here are 4 ingredients worth considering the following conflict resolution strategies:-

1. Self-Awareness
2. Values
3. Openness
4. Empowering Questions

How To Resolve Conflict – Self Awareness

When you develop the relationship you have with yourself, you will become more self –aware and clearer about what you want for your life, personally, professionally or both. The desire that emerges with that clarity and knowingness becomes like fuel to help you navigate past potential conflicts.

For example the guy that wants to develop his talents in the entertainment industry to bless others with the gift of his humour, yet struggles to embrace the publicity that may come as part of the package.

He will ultimately find a way to manage, embrace and accept that in the light of his burning desire as long as it does not present a greater conflict with his values.

How To Resolve Conflict – Values

It is crucial to understand what is most important to you, in other words, what your values are. Sometimes the conflicts we experience are between two values we hold dear.

So in the example above if the person values privacy more than contribution of his talents in the entertainment industry, then he will ultimately do what is most important to him, and he will realign his desires accordingly, and change its expression.

Your desires need to align with your values, and these may change over time as we grow, and explore life in general.

How To Resolve Conflict – Openness

An open heart and mind can be an essential ingredient to resolving a conflict. For example recently Peterborough played Sunderland in the FA Cup.

In the prelude and commentary to the game we were given some insight into the relationship between owner and manager, who shared a similar vision for the club. Yet we heard how the relationship between the two was feisty with heated arguments at best.

At one point the manager was sacked despite his great achievements at Peterborough, only to be reinstated the following year!! Whilst their heated arguments were put down to passion, they clearly had different ideas about the method and path to achieving the agreed vision.

An openness to accepting that there is more than one way to achieve the same vision, as demonstrated by the former manager’s achievements with the club during his tenure, was what enabled the owner to reinstate him.

How To Resolve Conflict – Empowering Questions

Let’s return to the first scenario above to the person who hates his job and wants fulfilment whilst maintaining a sense of security in his life.

Many believe that they have to choose one over the other – security or fulfilment. This may be a limiting belief, however need not remain the case.

If you explore the possibilities for the two to co-exist, and the best place to start is to ask an exploratory question.

‘In what way can I achieve a more fulfilling life whilst securing my future?’ is an example of one such question. Questions, when asked in a certain way are powerful to opening up possibilities for your life, because when you ask a question of yourself, everything within in you will focus in on it like a laser to product possible solutions.

As long as you are open to the possibilities that show up, solutions will present themselves as to how both needs can be met. It may be that the person in this scenario finds a business he likes that he can explore and start on a part time basis, whilst he builds the financial security needed to leave his employed work.

Experiment with the four conflict resolution strategies above and experience how they enable you to  resolve the conflicts you may face in life.

Best wishes

Anita

What Is Brain Wave Entrainment?

Brain Wave Entrainment is a phrase used to describe a process that helps the brain to achieve higher levels of functioning, and is a form of meditation.

It does this on two levels. It develops synchronicity between the various parts of the brain, particularly right and left brain.

This helps a person to apply their whole brain to their daily lives and activities as opposed to a right or left brain dominant approach.

It also develops new neuronal pathways in the brain thereby dissolving less functional patterns of thinking and behaving.

How Brain Wave Entrainment Works

The process used to achieve this is a type of sound technology whereby a different sound frequency is exposed to each ear. It represents a passive alternative to manual meditation, particularly for those who struggle to practise meditation.

The difference between the two frequencies causes the brain to evolve to higher levels of functioning over time and frequent passive listening.

More frequent reported benefits are increase in calm, composure and general focus, though the list is not exhaustive. May report lowered blood pressure and better sleep.

Research on the use of sound technology in brain entrainment and personal development has been going on for well over 10 years, though it is still new to many people.

Different types of brain wave entrainment exist that induce alpha, theta and delta brain waves.  Of the three the alpha state known as the relaxed aware state, is the state commonly associated with meditative practice.

The alpha state is commonly associated with super learning and peak performance.

The theta state, known in the sleep cycle as the dream state is usually associated with increased perception, recall and intuition along with heightened creativity and insight.

Delta is that deep sleep and unconscious state, and brain wave entrainment tracks used on this level induce deeper rest states.

Sometimes brain wave entrainment is mistakenly perceived to be just about training the brain.  However in that the brain is connected to and processes messages from the heart and the mind, it is a far more holistic process than that.

The common theme between all brain wave entrainment technologies is that they induce a relaxed state in which context affirming messages are embedded that the ear can hear or beyond the human ear (sublimal).

Some use binaural beats (sounds of differing frequencies introduced to each ear separately), others use isochronous beats (sounds introduced at regular intervals), and some use both.

There is no right or wrong about which brain wave entrainment technology you use as long as you find one that suits your personal style and budget.

Different types of Brain Wave Entrainment Programmes

Programmes vary from the Centerpointe programme which has a 12 modular pathway of brain wave entrainment to other sublimals which incorporate music to combine with brain wave entrainment.

However one system that is taking brain wave entrainment to the next level uses a
combination of three technologies to really synchronise the heart and mind, rather than just to emphasise brain functioning.

It’s a next-generation binaural beats technology called Omharmonics, which employs heartbeat synchronization and ambient sounds.

Now you can experience deep, tranquil, uninterrupted meditation at the push of a button, with the help of this breakthrough audio tool.

In a world that emphasises mind power, sometimes it is at the expense of ignoring the other dimensions of who we are, and the heart is another one, and a huge dimension of ourselves.

We come with a heart, mind, brain, body, soul and spirit, however we define it those dimensions and we need to learn to integrate them in our overall expression, not separate them.

When you learn to dissolve mind chatter and become still, your inner voice will be heard more clearly with the insights and wisdom it provides, to take the burden off the mind.

What’s more you can try before you buy, so to speak. You can sample this brain wave entrainment system and try Omharmonics for free.

Look forward to hearing your feedback on this or any other brain wave entrainment you make as part of your personal development arsenal.

Anita

When it comes to enjoying success in life there are several factors that contribute. Firstly whilst success means different things to different people we live in a society that still measures success largely in material terms such as money and possessions.

Arguably success should be measured in terms of fulfilment, happiness and other internal factors, not just external factors.

Ultimately though you should be clear about what success means to you. What’s more you need to be clear about what external and material things mean to you, otherwise you could be chasing the illusion of success, and not the reality of success.

To explain further, success in life is as much about the internal experience as the external, and the two are not mutually exclusive, but you need to understand the mix.

There is a difference between achieving things to add and enhance the feeling of success and leaning on external things to create the feeling of success.

There is nothing wrong with achieving things. However consider this reality. The place you spend the most time is in our skin, and the only time you have is NOW.

Therefore the relationship you have with yourself and your capacity to find fulfilment along the journey of life whilst pursuing your goals becomes of paramount importance to the experience of success in life on a more consistent basis.

This is an area that many struggle with and the solution lies in having and enjoying a deeply loving relationship with yourself, whilst also enjoying the gift of life that each day brings rather than merely attaching happiness to the acquisition of things.

When you can be present to yourself, others and the life that each day brings, the quality of your life will change profoundly. You will be able to acknowledge the dreams you seek, yet you will also enjoy the growth that contributes to its achievement.

You will grow into greater levels of success rather than chase after success like the greyhound chases the rabbit. Success in life will come from the inside out and not the other way round. It will also feel more natural.

We see growth in nature every day and few would argue against the beauty of observing nature in this way. You need to translate that into personal growth and commitment to be at your personal best, so that you can get the most out of life, whilst life gets the best of you too.

In order to cultivate this you need to place value on your own self-worth, and life in the present. Unless you place importance on those things you will never give them their proper place in development.

Whilst this is certainly not a moral choice, the price of not placing value on these two things is that you may well end up robbing yourself of happiness and fulfilment right now.

This will also have a knock on effect for achieving your dreams and goals as it will take away from the emotional vibrancy that is important to fuel and propel you towards dream achievement.

Once you have placed value on these inner qualities and experiences, listen to those who have mastered these areas on a fundamental level, so that you can recondition and develop those aspects of yourself.

Like water over a rock, what you expose yourself to habitually will shape you, so develop these areas until they become second nature to you, and experience the difference it brings to the daily quality of your life, as well as the momentum it breeds towards your dreams and goals.

Wishing you happiness, fulfilment and success in life,

Anita

When assessing how to increase productivity and personal effectiveness, it is necessary to consider to broad areas – speed and personal application.

Productivity is not just about getting things done more quickly.  It is essentially about getting things done more effectively. Therefore how we apply ourselves as individuals towards an outcome will impact personal effectiveness.

For example when I was involved in women’s football we use to practice skills in training with and without speed to master technique first, then accuracy under pressure of speed.

The ability to work fast under pressure has to be balanced out by the skill of accurate application, in order to increase personal effectiveness and peak performance.

Tip 1 – Health

Energy is essential when looking to increase productivity and personal effectiveness, yet I am surprised how often health is neglected, whether for work or life in general.

From my days of working in psychiatry within the NHS it is well documented that absenteeism due to work related stress accounts for billion of pounds in the UK yearly.

Yet there is something called presenteeism, where someone continues to plough on at work when they are not well, due to denial or guilt they might feel if they report in sick. Presenteeism is equally responsible for low productivity and under performance.

So make sure you take time to regenerate and have leisure so that you can approach the necessary tasks with fresh energy rather than corrosive energy.   Realise that the quality of your giving is directly related to the quality of your own energy.

Keep your cells hydrated. Remember that 70-80% of your body is water.  Your cells need hydrating if they are to work for you.  Dehydration is cited as the most common cause of fatigue and whilst many are familiar with the statistics, few hydrate their bodies well.

Tip 2 – Relaxed Awareness

It is better known that if you conduct tasks in a relaxed energised state, you get things done more quickly and effectively. The relaxed aware state is known as the alpha brain wave state.

Those who meditate will be familiar with this. For those who find it difficult to meditate, brain wave entrainment has now made it possible to meditate passively whilst retaining the same benefits as traditional meditation.

The more you learn to access this state proactively, the more resourceful you will become in responding to situations rather than reacting to situations.

Tip 3 – Focus and Concentration

Whilst focus is the capacity to direct your attention to the matter at hand, concentration is the intensity of attention you give it.  We live in a world where so many things prey on our attention, so it requires greater ability and capacity than before to navigate through the distractions and keep focus on the matter at hand.

When you apply focus and concentration to a task do so against the clock to sharpen focus and concentration. Short bursts of intensive work against the clock will sharpen your focus and concentration.

Make sure you have fun beating the clock so that this does not get perceived as unduly stressful. Anything you create fun with is more likely to bring the best out of you.

On the subject of pressure, some adrenaline is good if you want to increase productivity. However too much pressure and adrenaline rush can have the opposite effect, so know where your boundary lies with pressure.

If you have a lot on you plate learn top prioritise and then see you decision through, rather than chopping and changing.

If you need to take on additional work look at what you can let go of to create space for that new task, rather than to be al things to all people.

Tip 4 – Increase Learning Skills

Develop the skill of accelerated learning and speed reading.  Both skills when properly developed enable you to process information more quickly without losing understanding and recall.

Mind Mapping is a process that allows you to map out and integrate information within a map that is easily accessible by others when working on a collaborative project.

Companies could easily increase their productivity if they embraced mind mapping software that has collaborative tools, enabling them to cut down on travel time that accompanies regular meetings, whilst communicating in real time with each other.

Tip 5 – Become a Skilled Listener

Practise being present to the person who is talking to you, and actively listen to them.  The quality of your relationships in general, and in business will flourish and you will accomplish more in shorter time.

Andrew Carnegie was the richest steel mogul of his era, and yet surprising to many, was the key he shared to his success. Carnegie did not put his success down to his knowledge, but his capacity to surround himself with those who had the expertise he lacked, and empower them to work in a harmonious and cooperative way.

So draw up a list of the areas you could improve to increase productivity and personal effectiveness, practise on those areas regularly, and observe how life and work progresses accordingly.

Anita

Perception Of Personal Development

Personal development training is still referred to in many circles as soft skills training, which does not do justice to the real value of personal development.

There is nothing soft about personal development, and when engaged with properly at an individual and organisational level it is a powerful precursor and contributor to success and fulfilment.

So why is it viewed in such light terms? Well one suggestion might be that the very materialistic stance of our society colours how we view what contributes to success and fulfilment.

Success v Fulfilment

Success still tends to be defined in monetary terms in many circles, and whilst that is certainly an appropriate measure for business success, many translate that into a full definition of personal fulfilment and happiness.

The two are not necessarily the same, as recently highlighted sadly by the sudden suicide of Gary Speed, the Wales International Football Manager.

In personal development circles much of the emphasis in achieving our dreams and goals goes on taking massive action. Massive action has a tangible feel to it, and it ticks boxes.

Doing v Being

Now whilst this is an important part of the process of achievement, equally important if not more so is the ‘being’ stuff which does not have the same tangible feel and therefore can end up receiving cursory attention.

Personal development is so often attached to having and getting things rather than about the person you become. Many chase success like the hare chases the greyhound at a track. Yet success and dream achievement gets created from the inside.

An Integrated Approach To Personal Development

Personal development is rather like electricity in that the development of self is not obviously visible, yet its effects are very visible in the way a person engages with life, and all that life brings.

Personal development is simply the process of developing yourself. Its value goes beyond mere goal achievement. It is about the person you become.

This does not mean that you go through a personality change, but it is about fulfilling your potential as a human being and individual, a process which never ends.

The place we spend the most time is not at work, but is in our own skin, and in the now, so there needs to be more emphasis on developing a strong health relationship with ourselves, because so many suffer with low self-esteem.

There also needs to be more emphasis on enjoying the journey because NOW is all we have.

When you engage in personal development in this more proactive context, you are more likely to be at your personal best in the general day to day of life.

When you experience more of yourself at your personal best, you are more likely to feel happy and fulfilled.

At the same time you are in a more resourceful place to achieve your goals and dreams with greater speed. Happiness and fulfilment should arguably be the greater measure of success in life in general terms.

In my book Breaking Free From The Prison Of Survival, (yet to be released), I speak about the difference between using external events and experiences to enhance our sense of self-esteem and leaning on those things to create happiness.

The difference and impact is huge. Circumstances can come go in our lives, and if your happiness is dependent on external circumstances you can end up feeling very disempowered. Yet circumstances have no feelings and meaning other than the meaning you give it.

If you develop a strong relationship with yourself and develop the capacity to be present to life now, it will anchor you when circumstances are challenging.

Just like electricity is felt by its impact and the way it lights up a room, your life can reflect vibrancy and great functionality when you make personal development part of the fabric of your life and not an add-on.

Maxwell Maltz author of Psycho-Cybernetics goes as far as to say that self-esteem dictates our limits and therefore what we achieve.

Napoleon Hill in his great classic Think and Grow Rich spoke of the importance of having a burning desire, a clear image of what you desire, using imagination, and harnessing relationships in a harmonious and cooperative way.

Wallace Wattles spoke about the way in which we take action in his classic The Science Of Getting Rich, and referred to additional qualities such as gratitude, creativity and value

A lot of these skills are not second nature to many, yet when you start to grasp and practise these significant things you will understand that the massive action needed in goal and dream achievement is made more potent, when taken from a place of greater self- esteem, belief and appreciation.

You will also appreciate that you cannot split the being aspects of personal development from the doing aspects because each impacts the other like flip sides of a coin.

My Personal Best Coaching was borne to redress this imbalance and bring the concept of personal best to the forefront of your life.

So I encourage you to go ahead and take an integrated and pro-active approach to your personal development, and observe how it starts to bring more vibrancy to your life.

Wishing you success and fulfilment in your personal development

Anita

Self-belief and confidence are two important themes that play out in well-being and dream achievement?  Let’s take a look at what the two things mean.

There is a subtle difference between confidence and self-belief. Self-belief is to do with a strong view or conviction you hold regarding yourself, and your abilities or characteristics

Confidence comes from the root word ‘confide’ and is to do with the trust you have in yourself as a person, or your abilities and characteristics.

This subject matter is one of the biggest areas of struggle for so many.  One of the most revealing insights into self-belief, and how to bring about change comes from Dr Bruce Lipton, who wrote his discoveries in ‘The Biology Of Belief’.

Take a look at this video clip:-

When it comes to goal or dream achievement, I am asked quite often whether self-belief and confidence are more important than having the skills and taking action.

My answer is that they are all important.  However if you do not have enough confidence and self-belief, you can slow down the time it will take to successfully achieve your goals.  Or you may even self-sabotage.

It is easier to take action and maintain action when fuelled by sufficient self -belief and confidence.  It is easier to learn the necessary knowledge and skills than it is to exercise confidence and self-belief

Most people find it easier to ‘do’ than to ‘be’ and confidence and self-belief are definitely in the ‘being’ domain, yet if you are strong on these ‘being’ qualities, it translates into far more effective action.

In fact many personal development experts consider confidence and self-belief to be 80% of goal achievement, and I would agree, because your outer reality will generally reflect your inner reality.

Also your confidence and self-belief will affect performance.

What Factors Impact Confidence and Self-Belief?

We talked about self -esteem in a previous article and it follows that self-belief and confidence will be affected by the strength of relationship you have with yourself

If you are able to see and acknowledge the good in you and the abilities and gifts, this is far more likely to inspire self belief, so self-esteem is a breeding ground for self belief in this respect.

Unresolved emotional issues will also impact self-belief and confidence through your self esteem too.  Unresolved emotional issues can displace into fear of the future, and fear can quash self-belief in a moment if strong enough.

The environment you keep plays a part too. If you surround yourself with negative people constantly, it will only feed into an already negative self-perception.

Lack of personal development will affect levels of confidence and self-belief and this is one of the most neglected areas I come across.  Many choose to take a reactive approach rather than proactive approach to their life, yet the rewards are abundant for those who grasp the latter.

Is It Possible To Have Self – Belief Yet Little Confidence?

For the most part self-belief and confidence go hand in hand.  However whilst it is difficult to have confidence without self-belief, it is possible to have self-belief, and little confidence.

The reason why is because confidence has more to do with current capacity than to do with ability.  So, for example, if you are not feeling well, or are fatigued, that will affect your ability to perform to your best.

Whilst pressure can heighten performance, too much pressure can negatively impact performance, and knock confidence.  You may believe in your ability, yet a new situation can bring some uncertainty which will affect confidence.

The great thing is that, in both cases, it is possible to build confidence and self-belief

How To Build Confidence and Self-Belief

There is a simple process to increase self-belief and confidence. First of all develop a personal development plan that will address the areas needed, and identify those who teach well on these areas

Secondly expose yourself regularly to books, audios and live events where these things are taught. Where most people go wrong is that they will listen or read up on self-esteem, or self belief, for example, but they will only do it the one time and wonder why they see no change,

When you only listen or read something once, you are mainly absorbing and not internalising or digesting the information.  Therefore it does not take root within you.  Regular exposure will reshape your beliefs over time.

Engage regularly with what you love doing.  This naturally inspires self-belief and confidence. Additionally, keep regular company with happy, positive people.  It will rub off on you over time.

Practise holding a confident posture when going about your every day activities.  Your physical body is an expression of your beliefs, so be practical as well.

Put yourself in new situations that stretch you, so you can develop your capacity and not just your ability.  It does not have to be a big stretch, otherwise you may experience more stress than enjoyment in your development.

It may be talking to someone you don’t usually approach, or simply doing something in a different way, or developing a new skill.  Accomplishing new and different things will inspire confidence over time.

Pay attention to your health, because healthy people are usually confident and happier in general.

Stay in touch with those things that have meaning and purpose in your life, because this will naturally build confidence and self-belief.

Below are some recommended resources to help you build confidence and self-belief to help you on your journey

Robert Holden on Happiness

Bruce Lipton 0n The Biology Of Belief

Gregg Braden on The Spontaneous Healing Power of Belief

The concept of healing with sound is not entirely new, though still not so widely known.  This is mainly because traditional medicine remains the default position for treating illness.  Yet inspite of medical advances, the disease and illness statistics do not make make for healthy reading.

More and more people are seeking alternative healing choices that do not include having to manage unwanted side effects, many of which often cause other long term medical complications.

Before we take a closer look at sound therapy take a look at this brief video clip that introduces us to the field of cymatics.  Cymatics is the study of sound on matter, made visible.

So what is the concept behind sound therapy, and how do you use it to impact the healing process? Let’s consider an example many will be familiar with.  You’ve heard of the singer who is able to hit a pitch in tonality that shatters glass?

All you have to do is manage to match your singing to the resonance frequency of the glass, and it will shatter.  You can do this using an amplifier and microphone too.

Scientific engineers have used sound technology to produce healing with sound, in the form of DNA repair, taking this principle of emitting a similar frequency to the diseased cell to cancel it out effectively.

Healing With Sound – A Pioneering Story

Significant contributions have been made with this technology in the area of healing with sound.  One of its proponents Sharry Edwards won a humanitarian award for her contribution to healing. Her story of how she came to work in this field is quite amazing.

A young girl called Sharry Edwards received a gift in adversity. After nearly drowning in an accident, her sacculus in her inner ear (responsible for balance) was affected.  As a result she discovered that her hearing was more acute and that she could pick up sonar like frequencies similar to dolphins.

In dolphins the sacculus is highly developed, like a sonar device.  They can transmit and interpret sonar frequencies.  The hearing range of dolphins is far superior to humans, and they can therefore sense frequencies that are beyond the human ear.

The average human hearing range is approximately 20-200 cycles per second, whilst dolphins can hear frequencies up to 180,000 cycles per second.

It was not an easy gift to bear, as Sharry was considered odd as a result of her story.  However over the course of many years she was to pioneer sound therapy based on vocal profiling technology and bioacoustics.

She managed to help people heal from various diseases for which medicine could do no more and her tireless work earned her The New Scientist of the Year Award in 2001 and The Spurgeon Humanitarian Award in 2002.

Whilst she has many supporters and phenomenal reviews she also encounters resistance from mainstream medicine, which can only be put down to financial and political factors.

It seems strange that such breakthrough results should come up against much resistance.  However it seems to be a pattern played out in history, when something new emerges, and when money and politics reign.

You can find out more about Sharry Edwards at her blog.

Healing With Sound – A Story Of Courage

The account I am about to relay next was televised as a documentary a few weeks ago, and comes as a result of a brave doctor moving beyond the bounds of medicine when traditional approaches failed, to help the healing process in one of his patients, who came to be known as the dolphin boy.

A young man called Morad was wrongly accused of trying to seduce a young girl, was kidnapped and brutally beaten throughout the night by relatives of the girl and left to die.

It was amazing that he survived at all. He was in hospital for 11 days and whilst he recovered physically, he had a more difficult recovery ahead. Morad was left with severe post traumatic stress, and suffered symptoms such as loss of ability to talk, remember the past, or focus his eyes on people.

His saving grace was that he had a doctor who was open to non-medical interventions when traditional input failed after 2 months of attempted treatment.

Dr Ilan Kutz used to work as a director of psychiatry at the Meir General Hospital. He ended up referring Morad to a dolphin reef therapy centre at Eilat.

Morad swam daily with the dolphins for four years where he slowly recovered in layers, first with his speech and touch, then his eye contact and reconnection with human beings.

His memory was the last thing to come back – at first when he ‘awoke’ he thought he had been born amongst the dolphins. He was unable to cry till he eventually left the reef

Slowly he regained memory, and with the help of electromagnetic therapy was able to deal better with what happened to the point where he was able to testify against the perpetrators.  His healing continues, but it was amongst the dolphins, he found his ability to reconnect, communicate and learn to trust again.

There has been much research on the therapeutic effect of frequencies emitted by dolphins on the immune system, and mood,  for example

Unusually, as in the account of Sharry Edwards, he developed an amazing connection and resonance with the dolphins, such that he was able to swim under water for several minutes without coming up for breathe and unusually emits air bubbles through his nose, similar to a bottlenose dolphin.

The documentary trailer can be seen here below and the full documentary is also below in the second video. It is a remarkable insight into the possibilities around the concept of demonstrating healing with sound.

You can see the full documentary under the inspiration tab in this blog. It would be interesting to hear your views on whether healing with sound is an area that has a valid part to play in health.

So there you have it.  Two stories of how out of adversity emerged unusual gifts throwing a fresh perspective on the healing process. The process of healing with sound, or sound therapy,  is an exciting field that needs further investment and research, and not least amongst the dolphins.

This is the full TV documentary shown a few weeks ago about a young man who came to be known as The Dolphin Boy. This is the remarkable true story of Morad who suffered severe Post Traumatic Stress after being brutally beaten and left to die by some class mates. A moving, inspirational story that opens up new possibilities for healing and recovery.

You can view it on utube using this link:-

http://youtu.be/VzATmsdale4

Here is the trailer:-

Two of the most important qualities to have for general well-being and achieving your goals and dreams are self-esteem and confidence. By the same token they are an area of great challenge and self sabotage for many people, so let’s take a look at the key issues.

What Is Self Esteem?

Think of a person you hold in high regard. Well self-esteem is the regard or value you hold of yourself, whether it be positive or negative. Psychologists point to the first five years as crucial in the way self-esteem develops in a person. They also indicate that 95% of the population will have challenges with their self-esteem at any one time.

Self-esteem and confidence are inextricably linked in that it is very difficult to maintain a confident demeanour when self-esteem is low. Whilst we can all go through that stage at times, if it is left unchecked low self -esteem can result in illness, poor performance at work, and lack of fulfilment in life.

Sometimes lack of confidence is more about new experiences which require new knowledge, and skills. However a positive view of yourself as a person is the breeding ground from which confidence can build with momentum.

What Are The Symptoms of Low Self Esteem?

Perfectionism, hypersensitivity, inability to take a compliment, inability to appreciate you own uniqueness or the contribution you bring to the world, self-deprecation, or the constant putting down of others in order to feel good about yourself, are some common indicators of possible low self-esteem.

Why Do So Many People Suffer From Low Self Esteem?

In my book ‘Breaking Free From The Prison Of Survival’ I talk about the biggest divorce I witness as being when a person disconnects or splits from themselves, resulting in low self-esteem, and descending into potential worthlessness and depression.

One of the key reasons for this state is that many attach their self-image to external things in their lives. This could be relationships, career advancement, material possessions, body image or other significant events.

If these events do not play out in their favour this gets absorbed into their self-esteem, knocks their confidence, and they spiral towards a negative self-image, instead of separating the events from themselves as people.

Now there is nothing wrong with wanting to achieve, own or have things. It is not a moral issue. However there is a difference between using external things to enhance your sense of joy and self-esteem as opposed to using them to create a fundamental sense of healthy self-esteem.

You may be familiar with the book Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz who was a cosmetic surgeon by profession. He noticed how in spite of cosmetic surgery many of his patients would retain a poor self-image. In other words the picture or image they held of themselves was a stronger barometer of their self-esteem than any outer changes they made.

How To Build Self Esteem and Confidence

Much of the work I did as a mental health nurse, and now do in a coaching capacity with clients is on self-esteem and the ‘being’ aspects, in order to help them develop a strong and loving sense of self, that can in turn, support achievement of their goals more stably and consistently.

As Maltz concluded from his observations, ‘we always act in a way that is consistent with our self-image’

Here rare 3 things you can apply to build your self-esteem and confidence:-

1. Recognise that self-image informs self-esteem. Use your imagination to create and hold the picture of yourself as you would like. Use all five senses and intuition (sixth sense) in the imagery. Do this on waking and prior to sleeping. This process will start to reshape and re-inform your self-esteem over time.

2. Separate your self-esteem from external things as described earlier, and use the visualisation process above to assist you. For those of you who had decent parenting, you will agree that your mother loves you for who you are as a person, irrespective of what you achieve in your life – she loves you without condition.

As this is not everyone’s experience of their parenting, I suggest in my book that you adopt the role of the best friend, who likewise loves you for who you are. Take a different view of yourself from the perspective of a best friend.

3. Spend time with yourself alone as a best friend would and get to know yourself. Observe, with curiosity, what is unique and lovable about yourself. Observe your unique characteristics, gifts and abilities. It may feel strange at first but stay with the process. Write these things down as it makes it more real.

Your self-esteem and confidence will start to rise in time as  you practise these three tips little and often, as your self-image takes on a different picture.

Anita